How to Address and Overcome Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the drive to try to make everything perfect and can be detrimental to both mental and physical health. Everyone experiences some degree of perfectionism at some point in their life and for some, it can become a problem. In order to address and overcome perfectionism, it is important to first understand what perfectionism is, what the types or causes of perfectionism are, the underlying issues, and the effects. Additionally, in order to effectively address and overcome perfectionism, it is important to develop stress management skills, manage self-talk, practice self-compassion, set realistic expectations, and build strong relationships.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the drive to make everything perfect. It involves setting extremely high standards through an all-or-nothing approach, holding oneself to impossible self-imposed expectations, and making any perceived mistakes as personal failures. It can be seen as an outward display of inner insecurity, a desire to seek approval, or an inability to accept anything less than perfection.1
Types and Causes of Perfectionism
There are three types of perfectionism—normal, maladaptive, and neurotic. Normal perfectionism involves striving for excellence and seeking to create quality work. Maladaptive perfectionism is an unhealthy form of perfectionism, where the unrealistic and excessive standards are harmful. Neurotic perfectionism is the most extreme type, where someone is either obsessed with achieving perfection or feels overwhelmed when trying to achieve perfection.2
The causes of perfectionism can be due to internal factors, such as a straightforward need for achievement, but it can also develop due to external influences, such as criticism or feeling the need to prove oneself to others.
Underlying Issues
It is important to understand the underlying issues behind perfectionism, such as feelings of insecurity, fear of failure, need for perfection, and fear of criticism. These underlying issues can be rooted in past childhood traumas or events and can eventually lead to difficulty managing stress, difficulty accepting mistakes, and difficulty managing relationships.
Effects of Perfectionism
The effects of perfectionism are wide-reaching and can lead to physical and mental problems like burnout, fatigue, anxiety, depression, social isolation, and low self-esteem. In extreme cases, perfectionism can also lead to suicidal ideation or behavior.
Managing Stress
In order to effectively address and overcome perfectionism, it is important to learn how to manage stress. Stress management techniques like deep breathing, meditation, exercise, and journaling can help reduce stress levels and help prevent perfectionistic behavior.
Self-Talk
It is also important to manage and change self-talk. This includes reframing negative thoughts and focusing on positive statements to counter pessimistic thinking. Additionally, it is important to challenge irrational thoughts and beliefs and practice self-acceptance, rather than strive for perfection.
Self-Compassion
In addition to managing self-talk, it is important to practice self-compassion. This involves speaking to oneself with kindness, understanding mistakes and shortcomings, treating oneself with empathy and understanding, and coming to terms with one’s own imperfection.
Realistic Expectations
It is important to learn how to set realistic, achievable goals and expectations, rather than striving for perfection. This can help one feel more satisfied, again reducing the need to focus on perfectionism.
Strong Relationships
It is also important to build strong relationships to help manage feelings of insecurity and fear of failure. Supportive relationships, including family, friends, counselors, or a mentor can help provide a sense of security, helping to address and overcome perfectionism.
Conclusion
In conclusion, perfectionism is a drive to make everything perfect and can be detrimental to both mental and physical health. In order to address and overcome perfectionism, it is important to first understand what perfectionism is, what the types or causes of perfectionism are, the underlying issues, and the effects. Additionally, in order to effectively address and overcome perfectionism, it is important to develop stress management skills, manage self-talk, practice self-compassion, set realistic expectations, and build strong relationships. In conclusion, perfectionism can have negative impacts on both mental and physical health and can lead to feelings of insecurity and fear of failure. Managing perfectionism requires various techniques and strategies, such as stress management techniques, self-talk management, self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, and building strong relationships. These strategies provide a framework to address and overcome perfectionism, enabling individuals to move away from the need to always strive for perfection and give themselves permission to be imperfect.
What are effective strategies for managing perfectionism?
1. Set realistic goals. Perfectionism can cause you to set unrealistic expectations and goals. By setting realistic goals and expectations, you are less likely to be disappointed and overwhelmed by the outcome when you don’t reach perfection.
2. Identify the thoughts and feelings connected with perfectionism. Begin to recognize the negative thoughts and beliefs you tell yourself when trying to be perfect and challenge these thoughts by finding evidence that contradicts them.
3. Focus on the process, not the outcome. As a perfectionist, it can be hard to enjoy the process and progress made in any task. Focus on each small step and work you are doing instead of obsessing over the end result.
4. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and have imperfections and learn from each one.
5. Practice self-compassion. Instead of being too critical of yourself and feeling like you have to be perfect, be gentle and understanding with yourself.
6. Take action. Break larger tasks into doable chunks and get started on them. Freezing up with fear can keep you stuck in the same place. Take action to break the cycle.
7. Seek social support. Turning to friends and family can provide encouragement and reduce the pressure of feeling alone in your perfectionism. Talk and educate them on the issues and have them provide emotional support.
What are the negative effects of perfectionism?
1. Pervasive self-criticism: Perfectionists often hurt themselves with overly critical inner dialogue that can chip away at self-esteem and self-confidence.
2. Fear of failure: Perfectionists can be afraid to take risks due to the potential of failure, thus holding themselves back from success.
3. Unrealistic standards: Perfectionist tendencies can often result in an unrealistic expectation of oneself and others, which can lead to disappointment, frustration, and discontent.
4. Avoidance behavior: The fear of not being perfect can cause a perfectionist to avoid tasks that could produce a less-than-ideal outcome, inhibiting personal growth.
5. Stress and anxiety: The constant striving for perfection can lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, and even depression.
What are the long-term effects of perfectionism?
Long-term effects of perfectionism can include physical and mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships, and an inability to accept failure or imperfection. Perfectionism can also lead to procrastination, difficulties in decision-making, and difficulty adapting to change. Perfectionists may become easily frustrated, becoming easily demoralized due to their high standards and expectations. Perfectionism can lead to stress and feelings of unworthiness or inferiority when goals are not achieved. Furthermore, perfectionism can lead to an inability to share ideas and express creativity, which can hinder professional and academic success.